Rantings of a rainy night!

It rained the other night....it rained today as well.. the drops soaked your tears the other night..
Today..it washed..away my fears...

The rain of the yesteryears.. spoke to me instead of you.. the rain of today.. aah..well..it looked for you ..
The rain.. of the other night...made me lose you somewhere..

today..the rain..nudged me to be lost again..

Well..
the rain of that night....or the rain of today.. not only bespoke of our lovelorn.. days.. but it spoke about the pain I would face in the corner of my room..a little drained.'..

With a torn piece of your name.. a curled up photo...a..courier full of memories.. and a hand written signature ..of an unfinished surname..

Of all the things ....the rain is all I could give you tonight.. all I could spare from a selfish bit of our memoirs..

So if tonight you felt the kiss of the rain on your face.. if tonight you felt the breeze breathe down your neck.. if tonight you felt a leaf touch your feet..if tonight you heard your name by the whistling wind..

Well.. no brownies for guessing.. it was.. hmm..aah well ..

Not me..

Love is in the AIR- waves!!!

So you see I am a trainee waiting to be on Air ! Air in every possible way :) waiting to fly out and leave the lil comfort zone and face the music :) trust me literally facing the music cause am training to be an RJ in the Akaashvani All India radio :D well trust me it is special ;)

Feels good to know that someone somewhere out there will be listening to me play out the best tracks and I would just feel the lil sigh or imagine the smile surfacing from my words on air :)
Sooo how does it feel to be in the super silent zone :) with nervous trepidation that hopefully u don't leave a dead space of silence :) hmmm Priceless :D

Whatever it is :) I do feel good to be a part of this before valentine's day :) A script is ready from my end and a special note to my special man for being the reason behind my dreams :)  Someday the spaces between my fingers will fit in perfectly with yours:D Its all in the Faith! and the never give up attitude :)
Happy valentine's day everybody :) my love is far away and the air and the AIR will be my kabootar of pyaar :)

Love and let love in .. Stay blessed darlings :D

Made for each other and Mad for each other too :P

Me and Teddy TOpi :P

Teddy Topi sitting Pretty :P

The lil naughty twosome :P

Thanx a tonne TP for them :P They are super naughty :P

How can I stay without smothering her :P

My lil twinnies :P Loving them :P

Awiee they are aorable aren't they?

Awieee Pinkleton being kissed :P

Sleeping with my lil one :P

Just so so Happpy :P

SO It arrives as a big big surprise :P

My work and Me.. The personal moments carved as a Personal tutor research team member in the University of Leicester

The third post is a little walk down the memory lane.. Not too distant a memory but a little write up about my work in the University of Leicester...

The Intriguing Experience of the Personal Tutor Research Project.....

It just seems like yesterday when I was chosen as one of the Education researchers for the personal tutor project and I was leaping around in the Percy Gee building.. And here I am after six months penning down a whirlwind of emotions about my project so far.

How do I begin? ‘ It’s truly been an amazing experience.. I have learnt a lot’ and many more of these lines may sound so patent.. but I mean each and every ‘letter’ that I pen down today.. I have become a totally different ‘ me’ since the time I have been involved with this project. The 8 am meetings which sounded quite tedious to be a part of in the beginning– has now become an extended family for me. A common purpose knitted all of us together… and I truly feel greatly enthused by our project. I love the fact that all of us are always bombarding ideas and extending our help all the time- which speaks volumes about our involvement.

The Personal tutor group is truly wonderful to be a part of! We are growing each day- getting to know more about each other- Sharing moments of mirth and sadness over cups of coffee and cookies .. And never letting the spirit in us die down. I truly love all our staff members and the way they are guiding us through every 8am meeting.. I miss James who was treat to work with.. But the show must go on..

This experience is indeed enriching.. A platform to express all my ideas.. However eccentric they may sound! I thank everybody who has helped me grow in every possible way so far and who has given me the faith that I am meant for ‘a greater good’.. I am meant for something that can make a difference..

As an International student I feel proud to be associated with such a project which will not only benefit the students but which has also helped me become the ‘ Ashmita’ I always wished to be- A voice for many ‘Ashmita’s’ who have not had a chance to be a part of this project!

I am looking forward to all the umpteen number of tasks waiting to be bestowed on me and I promise to give all my efforts in completing them. I am literally dreading the last day of our work. I swear I am going to be the worst specimen of a cry- baby! I love my job.. and I love my group.. and I loveeeeee being a part of something which has helped me become a whole lot more confident.. Meticulous.. and important for others. In a nutshell.. this is one of the best experiences of my life that I shall cherish forever!

My role in the Advertising and Promotion Group

I volunteered to be a part of the Promotion group as I was quite enthused in being a part of the Launch of our personal tutor group project. It was really fun to give inputs on how to get our word across to all the students and how to get them to believing in the project with the same conviction as we researchers do.

I understood how to really get the students understanding how their individual response can actually create a difference for the future and as a part of the promotion group I did have a chance to exercise my ability to convince and motivate everyone.

I have been part of Lecture shout outs where I have made it a point to get everyone involved as far as I can. I tried to convert the blank faces to ‘nodding’ responses.. And made it a point to run around and get as many students and staff to be a part of our research by filling in the questionnaires. I have greatly improved on my public – speaking skills.. And I know I can make everyone hear me out now-

Eye contact and many smiles and a lot of passion has got me to becoming more and more confident about myself. I love my role and I am trying my level best to get our posters seen at different venues and get people actually thinking and believing that they themselves are the actors playing their part in this Brilliant project of ours! I have met some amazing people through this role. I have some great friends as well  and I love being a part of something that gets me running around! SO here’s to many more running around and motivating sessions to come- I welcome them with arms wide open I love my role.. And I truly love my members. Thanks again for having the Looney me around. Cheers

Well , The Research work is over.. and the Report has been handed in and implemented as well.. This writing seems a tad bit old but I can shall never forget the moments that I have spent in the workplace.. The ARC and the people I have met and interacted with will forever be in my heart.. I love them all specially ALysoun and Gemma Riley , James and Ilim for being really close to me and guiding me at every step :) Its been a WOnderful year and an exciting and dynamic workplace and project to be a part of :)

A Little something dedicated to My Nani

This second post is dedicated to someone who has made me the woman that I am today...

This year on the 13th of September I wrote up a little something just for her.. I used to write little poems about frogs and turnips.. which she carefully bound into a book.. so this post is up so she could bind it as an indelible memory of us.. right up in Heaven where she belongs now...

The 13th of September is etched in my heart as Nani's birthday.. My heart sinks today as I write about her in the past - tense.. SHe was a wonderful human being.. rich with novel ideas, a compassionate heart and a firm volition of being the very best till the very end.. SHe passed away , yet her presence is still felt in every home and every heart she thrived in.. I love her loads.. and on this day I give myself up to her.. and I wish she could just doll me up for one more day like she always used to.. I remember her birthday to be one of those occasions where we'd eatiing till we drop down.. laughing till we can stop.. and ofcourse.. me singing till someone.. seriously shut me up :P I remember her on this day and everyday as being a tough .. burly warm.. monther cum grandmother to me.. who has made me what I am today.. The photo was taken when I was really tiny.. and till the very last day before she was hospitalized.. she lay on my lap.. and looked up to me and said..' that whatever I have is all yours'.. This she uttered to me each day.. and it is true.. I long to have all her qualities.. and I would love to bestow all her love and all her warmth to everyone she truly loved..

There have been times when I have sat up wondering.. why is it that she had to leave me before I would give her my share of love.. give her my share of yummy delicacies that I prepare today.. but then I feel that she is definitely watching up.. lapping up my delicacies and tightly hugging me when I sleep at nights.. :) I love her loads.. and she has been my mum since the time I was born.. The clips on my hair.. to the jewellery that I'd just ' have to ' wear .. to the clothes and the food that I would have to adorn and lap up were just few of the things how she would take me as her 5th child..

Nani would always be with me.. and scold me as well.. scold me for being the mischievious me.. for hiding my copies under bed.. when I'd have bad marks to offer.. She would unerath all my secrets from every nook and corner.. and I would be amazed at her determination to never stop :P

TIll the very last day I was fortunate to feed her for the last time.. SHe had become like a small baby at the end of her journey.. SHe couldn't speak.. but she would look into my eyes.. and just convey all that she wanted to .. till the very end.. WHat affects me the most was the fact that.. she always had the last word in ev everything.. but on the very last day.. when she was suffering.. no amount of questions asked by me.. about what was hurting her.. and where was the pain originating from reaped no answers.. All I feel upset about is that at the end I could feel her dimming pulse.. and I kept saying..' No no it cannot be the end.. It cannot'.. but I guess the end had come and she left us.. and entered our lives through spririt..

I was in splits while talking to Mama today .. and I felt good that she lives among us through all of us.. and it is true.. yet I long to hug her.. and the way she would fill me up.. completely...

I want to be like her.. and I want my children and my grandchildren to know about her... and I hope she looks upon me.. and my family and my future family and friends.. whom she doted and dotes.. and will dote on.. and smile forever more..

Nani.. I love u loads.. and I really hope heaven has a facebook account and she could read this :P and include it in her diary.. where she would write every single day without fail.. ' The maids have not come today.. or .. Bou is P = Present... and Bidhan is A= Absent.. Her diaries were so amusing and interesting to read and I would never forget how till the very last day .. she had written.. How she was not keeping well ...

Nani.. I could go on and on and on.. about her...but I would like to end by singing her favourite song for her specially

Aaaloker eyi jhorna dharaaaye dhuiye daaao..

aapnaaake ei lukiye raakhaa dhulaaaye dhaakaa

dhuiyee daaaaaaaaaaaao

Happy birthday to u Nani.. U were a warrior princess and sensitive and lovable lady.. and I look up to u as being the very epitome of love for me and for everyone.. Loveed Babai and Dadai's writings about her... :) and Mama's bit of calling me up and cheering me up and the truth that she still lives among us.. :)

A little note to everyone.. Love ur loved ones.. to the very end.. Life is too short for regrets .. and grudges.. and all sorts of issues that would snatch away valuable time from us.. and our relationships... Lets grow.. up and never grow out of love for anyone.. I would like to hug and love all my friends.. and family.. who have probably moved away from me.. or there have been issues.. and I would like to genuinely love them and continue to care for them forever more..

Tight hug to my Ma , Baba, Dadai, Diyadi, Mamai, my Family, my Best friend and my boy.... for standing by me and supporting me through all my sadness and trying times.. Love u all .. I miss u all loads.. and I give u all loads of love and I promise to forever be with u all till I breathe my last..

Love u Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaani.. tight hug to u :)

Love to all :) Nani make a wish.. Its ur birthday.. WOw .. she blew out all the candle :P Hehe tight hug .. Cheers everyone..

My Blog is born.. Celebrations anyone?

How do I begin today? Or how should I begin tonight?. Its 4:17 pm.. but with the addition of the daylight saving time in UK, I seem to be thrust in the midst of a time zone which was completely alien to me just about two years ago.. I am at the moment penning myself down in the very cozy home of my Mami and uncle..

The fireside's lit up.. and Chocolate chip muffins on the oven.. my joy surely knows no bounds tonight :) Setting up a blog was not quite a cakewalk.. and writing your very first post can be quite a task.. Somehow it seems.. I just have to be really ' right' with whatever I pen down.. Hmm Could I say its extreme pressure taking me over :)

Hmmm .. Its my first post so I will try not to bore anybody so I'd just give a little overview about what you could expect from my posts... Well here I go..

1. Candid is the word.. Its Me.. Its my blog.. so Its my little space to be myself so I will be myself through every little post I put up :P
2. Experiences and people who have captured my heart that I shall allow others to relish and get to know :)
3. A few yummy recipes that always gets me receiving lots of praises :) Oh yes :) DO give them a try and do comment.. if you did get a standing ovation for that :D
4. Anything and everything that I wish to write about . SO you just have to tackle my garrulous side on the screen :)

Well SO welcome to my blog and welcome to my life.. I'd like to personally thank STephen, Ewa, Mami, Uncle Bruce who believed in me and believed that I should try and pen down my animated life for all of you.. :) Lots of love to my Baba, Ma , Dadai , My Mama. My Man, My Buds and everyone who breathes life into me everyday.. I write for all of you .. Tight Hug Cheers everyone :)